Your squadron commander hails you
"Perry, I want you to have sexual intercourse with a former James Bond... Moore's his name. You'll recognise him because he's draped in a pirate flag. God speed."
You take a deep breath and respond
"Roger. Roger roger Roger"
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
Our Dogs' Special Pee
Back when I was a boy we owned a farm that grew all kinds of things that we used to harvest and sell.
Unfortunately we had a couple of dogs that had very special urine; it contained cannabis seeds.
We didn't want the cannabis plants taking all the nutrients and sunlight from our crops so every summer...
we'd weed weed weed
Unfortunately we had a couple of dogs that had very special urine; it contained cannabis seeds.
We didn't want the cannabis plants taking all the nutrients and sunlight from our crops so every summer...
we'd weed weed weed
Friday, 11 December 2009
Mr Campbell's fishy football boot
Former Spurs, Arsenal, Portsmouth and England defender Mr. Campbell owns only one shoe. This shoe is very unusual though...
Inside the shoe, for cushioning is a flatfish's eternal spirit which shines like the sun.
In fact inside the shoe is
Sol's sole sol-sole-soul sole
Inside the shoe, for cushioning is a flatfish's eternal spirit which shines like the sun.
In fact inside the shoe is
Sol's sole sol-sole-soul sole
Monday, 7 December 2009
Baloo's Painful Hands
You've recently become friends with Baloo the bear from the jungle book. Sweet!
Recently he's changed his name to one of his favourite fruits (the one that isn't the prickly pear), as is his want.
He tells you that as he's a bear he doesn't have any money, so he can't afford anything to clean the tiny holes in his hands. They've become all clogged up.
Don't we feel sorry for him?
Poor poor Pawpaw's paw pores
Recently he's changed his name to one of his favourite fruits (the one that isn't the prickly pear), as is his want.
He tells you that as he's a bear he doesn't have any money, so he can't afford anything to clean the tiny holes in his hands. They've become all clogged up.
Don't we feel sorry for him?
Poor poor Pawpaw's paw pores
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Tony's playground love
Tony, the presenter of that art show with Morph, has come back from the grave. wooooooo.
He has been brought back by the power of his love for a deer with a tattoo of the cardiac muscle on it's back.
To celebrate this event a chant was created, that can be heard in children's playgrounds to this day...
Hart hearts heart-hart.
He has been brought back by the power of his love for a deer with a tattoo of the cardiac muscle on it's back.
To celebrate this event a chant was created, that can be heard in children's playgrounds to this day...
Hart hearts heart-hart.
Paul's Peculiar Passions
Your pal Paul Pick is proud of coming from an ancient northern Scottish race of people.
He has 3 hobbies; namely he's an ice miner, a guitarist and an art connoisseur.
He therefore wants you to combine his 3 interests and choose him a photo of an icepick shaped like a plectrum.
Pick Pict Pick's Pick-Pick Pic
He has 3 hobbies; namely he's an ice miner, a guitarist and an art connoisseur.
He therefore wants you to combine his 3 interests and choose him a photo of an icepick shaped like a plectrum.
Pick Pict Pick's Pick-Pick Pic
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