Mr Clegg Should Have Been More Careful

by E.Max Broady

Mr Clegg, deputy PM, has a series of shallow notches made by his favourite basketball team from New York... But he is shocked one day to realise they've been stolen by Stevie, the demure Fleetwood Mac singer! The headline the next day?

 Nicks nicks Nick's Knicks nicks

Your Rival Works Behind You...

You work in a shop. You have your own till and you spend your time adding up the sums of things that come through. You see how many beans there are, you see how many TVs are passed over the table top you do you work on, you see how many things there are generally.
BUT there's been another till-and-table-top installed exactly behind you, with some one else doing exactly your job - that of adding up the number of things!
You must oppose them in every way you can.. Go On

Counter Counter-Counter Counter

Your Sibling, The Radiohead Fan

Your younger sibling is a big Radiohead fan. They have just spotted a table full of the lead single from 2003's Hail To Thief album. They don't have it so they are every excited...
BUT before they can get to them some people swoop in and take the singles!
Your sibling is very upset. They can't understand why these people would take the records they wanted!
You comfort them

"There There, They're Their "There Theres""

A Most Unusual Awards Show

Backstage at the award show and you're being shown around...


"There's going to be Lights! Dancing! Entertainment!
The show will be starting with with something dancing letters, those wonderful little quasi-numbers between p and r. Darling things will all be dressed like the omnipotent trickster from Star Trek, all lined up like they're waiting for something - by the looks of the little sticks they're all holding it's probably a star studded snooker match!
And it doesn't stop there, the wonderful little gadgets were designed by James Bond's own gadget man!

Oooop time's getting away from me, it's time to start!

Cue Q's Q-Cue-Q Queue!

Playback Discussion And The (Kind Of) Singing Banana

We were listening back to a track that the Wednesday Club had just recorded, my friend and I.

"It's good," my friend said, "even for you."

"Yes," I responded. "We managed to get a banana to play with us on it. Or should I say we managed to get the sodium contained with in the banana to play on the track."

"Don't bananas usually contain potassium?" my friend asked.

"This one contained sodium", I curtly replied.

There was an awkward silence.

After a while my friend piped up; "I like those nonsense backing vocals, did you sing them, are they yours?"

I grunted back,

"Na 'Nana's Na's "Na Na Nas""

Bear's Mysterious Return

Bear - TV Adventurer Extraordinaire - Wild Man of the Woods - Exciting Posh Chap - has decided to come back for another installment of One Word Sentence. We need you to find out why.

He's been burnt pretty badly (some would say succulently) so we can't ask him directly.

Instead, I want you to ask the jewelery he wears over his teeth. You'll recognise it because it's shaped like horizontal slats.

Are you ready?

Grill Grill-Grylls Grill Grill

Announcement - Loads More OWS To Come

So here it is, the new One Word Sentence!
It's been a while since I've been doing this regularly but that should change over the summer. In fact I was saying this to a fellow in a sun bed opposite to me the other day…
Actually he was an interesting bloke; every orange curve of him had these lines coming off it. I asked him about the lines and he said he was really into graphs and maths. Really strange, covered in these straight lines he was…
Anyway, as I was saying we've got a lot more one word sentences coming, sorry about the

Tan Gent Tangent Tangent